


drowning || minisang

by heartu_rose



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Multi, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-18 02:36:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21520486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartu_rose/pseuds/heartu_rose
Summary: maybe he shouldn't have fallen in love, but then again, who couldn't?
Relationships: Cha Junho & Lee Eunsang, Cha Junho/Lee Eunsang, Kang Minhee & Lee Eunsang, Kang Minhee/Lee Eunsang
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	drowning || minisang

Minhee should've seen it coming.

Falling in love with the red-haired boy when he clearly gave heart eyes to the quiet boy sitting a few tables away. Minhee should've seen it. He could never show his feelings for the red-head when the boy loved someone else.

Lee Eunsang was dating Cha Junho.

It wasn't fair. Minhee had been by Eunsang's side through every heartbreak and dark time. And what did he get? His own heartbreak.

He had given so much to the boy, not forgetting to get a little something back. But in the end, he had tossed Minhee away as if he was a rock lying on the beach. Minhee waited, and waited, and waited. Hoping Eunsang would talk to him when the time came.

He never came back.

Minhee watched from afar. Watching the stares the red-haired boy would send to Junho, the hearts littered all over his pupils. The unexpected kisses and stolen glances the couple would exchange whilst they walk down the hallway. The laugh Minhee wishes he could be the cause of was no longer his to listen to. Nor was the voice.

What were those late nights texting about life for? A time to rant and vent out feelings? A rebound to get rid of dark thoughts? Is that all Eunsang thought of him?

He would walk up to Eunsang, offer his best smile like always. He'd try his best to start a conversation like they normally would back then.

Keyword: back then.

Now, Eunsang only offered him small smiles. If he wanted a smile, they'd have to talk about Junho or his coursework. There was no other way.

They would walk away, pretend things weren't going downhill when they clearly were. Eunsang would spend the evenings texting Junho and doing his homework. And Minhee? He was drowning.

Drowning in a sea of thoughts, in a sea of feelings, in a sea of pain.

Nothing would ever make the pain go away. He had finished drowning in his unrequited feelings, drowning in his tears. There were no more tears left. Only a hole in his heart where Eunsang had once occupied. A dark void, waiting to be filled again.

It's okay, he can deal with it. Lying, that is. Telling himself he's fine over and over, like a mantra. It works until he's left with nothing to do. All he can afford to do on lazy nights is lay in bed. Think, rethink, and overthink.

Tonight, he can't lie anymore.

He knows he's not okay, but what can he do? Eunsang's madly in love with Junho, and vice versa. Minhee is nothing but the third-wheel whenever Eunsang needs a wingman. But nowadays, Eunsang doesn't need him. And that's what hurts.

Minhee stands by the pier, staring into the deep abyss just inches beneath his feet. One step would be all it would take. What would it be like to die drowning? Would it be like his sleepless nights, choking on tears, body wracking with sobs? Or would it be peaceful, water filling up every corner until he had no air to breathe?

Not a single bird stirred around him. No cars honking. No chatter of nearby couples or friends. Just Minhee by the pier. Underneath a blanket of stars. Minhee scowled at the stars. Fate was cruel.

The feelings buried at the pit of his stomach climb up once more. Tears threaten to fall, though Minhee lets one fall, anyway. Sobs crawl up his throat, suffocating him. The suffocation was like a bouquet. It keeps growing and growing, blocking any air from entering. He couldn't breathe.

Minhee inhaled once more, eyes closing and arms spreading like wings. The wind danced past him, whispering secrets.

The first step would always be the hardest. But once it's done, the next is the easiest thing to do.

Minhee steps forward, the loneliness enveloping him.

**Author's Note:**

> for anyone that has reached the end, thank you for reading! i wrote this when i was going through a hard time and, with writing as my escape, this is the result  
> just remember though, i'm always here for you, too :)


End file.
